What's Behind A New Year Resolution?

For many years,  when I considered making New Year resolutions they were usually framed around the urgency of immediate realities that glared at me in the mirror, groaned when I opened my checkbook or shrieked when I stood on my scale. The only solution I had to offer myself back then that could offset the internal pressure I felt was to go on the offensive. I learned to dive into my fears, be proactive, embrace challenges before they could surround me. In other words, I became purposeful, self accomplished, an enthousiastic control freak, very disciplined and someone who used her will forces to avoid becoming trapped in anything. This time served me well as it did others; but, it was not meant to become a way of life.

Only later, did I realize that I was living my life with an unnecessary "hard will".  Although, I was trust worthy that I could get "the job done", I wasn't having a lot of fun while doing so.  I had plenty of purpose, heart and soul but my spirit searched for levity. In time, it became apparent that life did not want more from me, but for me.  I willingly changed.

When i think now about the willful power behind individual New Year resolutions, I am in awe of the potential at hand. I applaud and support everyone who gives their word to a new resolute and puts their passion behind it. I believe that the more our free will forces are engaged in a harmonious way that benefits the greater good of self and other, the more cooperative forces appears on the scene. Ultimately, if you start the ball rolling it will gain momentum and come full circle!

I find myself in this New Year standing in gratitude on a much softer ground. I have learned to allow my footprints to yield into the Earth Mother that breathes me. I relax my body into her receptive state, bring in her feminine energies and accept that I only need to meet life half way. I have shape shifted out of the hard minded, hard bodied self and am living more fully in the balance between the feminine and masculine within. I bring my feminine warrior with me but she bears no arms. She brings only the wisdom of her age and those who come before her.  I have become softer now but not weaker. I know how and when to play between my and others soft and hard will. I am content to meet others also standing on the same middle ground. A sacred ground that can support all of our resolved and unresolved intentions.  In time, I have realized that all New Year resolutions are a conscious invitation to participate in the ever evolving game called self mastery. 

I wish you a Blessed New Year !

If NOT NOW , WHEN?

During this Autumn season, known in the old pagan European cultures and Christian esoteric circles, as a time when the threshold between this world and the next are at their thinnest, (hence, Halloween, All Saints and All Souls Day) the subject of mortality has circled around again. Some friends that I know are dealing head on with their own impending death, due to a bad diagnosis; while others are being deeply affected by the sudden prognosis of someone else that they know and love. In either case, what emerges for all is a deep stirring in the soul that is a reminder that we are vulnerable to the brevity of one precious human lifetime.  

While the faint sound of an old movie song from the sixties "What's it all about Alfie?" plays in my mind, I am reminded that our human drama remains to be a struggle that is compounded by the the need and attempt to be in control at all times. While control emerges as an expression of our free will , it is not necessarily a free will operating freely.  It is often generated by a fear of one's limits and capacity to be vulnerable while living in a state of questions rather than definitive answers and certainties. It is often true that when life beckons change, we dig our heels deep into the ground and create greater resistance. Rarely, does the outcome serve us.

Developing trust in life requires more than developing trust in ourselves. Life, by nature, is always evolving with an ever present force moving, shaping circumstances around us. Life generally asks of us to participate by continuing to adapt and learn new behaviors, expand our consciousness and make the necessary lifestyle changes that support a thriving existence to our wellbeing and others.  When we forget that we do not control our time on Earth, it is easy to fall prey to the dillusion that we have all the time in the world to get around to living the life we really want. We try to mastermind the perfect timing of a reality that is by nature destined to crumble before our feet. It is then on this new fresh soil of broken dreams that we stand in the truth of our corporality and soul life.  It is then, that we begin to walk the path that leads with a "soft will" versus a hard will, as Hungarian philospher Georg Kuhlewind spoke . It is then, that we realize there is wisdom in the authoress, Barry Stevens words titled in her classic on Zen wisdom "Don't Push The River".

 My one dear friend chooses to remain as wide eyed and open to the unfolding experience of her letting go by exploring the transformative potential that dying offers. She refuses to stop learning about herself and the relationships that have and continue to shape her life. Her family and friends have had the opportunity to express the deepest of feelings to her. In her vulnerability she has discovered how she has positively impacted those in her life, while she has also allowed the healing power of receptivity to work deeply through her. Her life is very nourished now as she drinks every last drop from the chalice of Life.

Dear Friends, Let's consider in this very moment, that there is an alternative to being struck down in health in order to become awakened and vulnerable to living a life that is truly in balance. Breathe in deeply and realize that this is your exquisite time on Earth. Breathe in deeply the duration of this gift into your body, heart, and soul. Breathe out a life that is artful, gracious, grateful, humble, truthful, generous, wise and loving.  If not now, When? 

Peace,